So some friends have asked what I did to get my daughter to sleep when she was little. The truth is, I didn't. Sorry moms to burst your bubble, but some kids are just like that. There was NOTHING I could do to make her sleep well.
My daughter is 5 now and she still "needs" me to fall asleep. I know, I know partially my fault because in the beginning we didn't lay down the law. The second I would put her down she would wake. I would end up sleeping in the rocking chair holding her and nursing her.
At about 18 months I finally night weaned her completely by having my husband sleep on an air mattress in her room for a week or so while she cried for me. Around this time also, we switched her to a twin sized bed because she still "needed" someone to help her fall asleep and with a toddler bed I still couldn't sit there long enough because it was uncomfortable for me and I would fall asleep half on the floor, half on the bed.
Finally at age 4, she would sleep through the night some nights but not every night, so we got some reprieve, but of course on nights she would sleep through the night I would not because I was concerned for her. When we were on vacation, she loved the bunk beds we had in a cabin we had rented so she then wanted a loft bed. We promised her that if she slept on her own, we would get her one. She fell asleep on her own for a week or so and she even fell asleep on her own a few times in the middle of the night. That eventually quit happening.
When she started kindergarten at 5, she finally began sleeping through the night most nights and when she didn't, she would get up and go to the bathroom on her own and mostly wake and fall asleep on her own as well. She still "needs" someone in her room with her to put her to bed and stay there until she falls asleep, but we are making progress.
The way I have to see it is that she is my daughter and I love her and she is only young once. One day, she will not want anything to do with me. One day, maybe sooner than I hope for, she will not want hugs and cuddles from me. At least for now, while she falls asleep at night I can lay with her and snuggle her and feel connected to her.
Maybe I am a bad mom for not breaking her of the habit sooner. Maybe I am keeping her immature too long. Maybe there are nights that I get less than 6 hours of sleep combined and each hour broken up because she wakes up and wants me in her room. Maybe I wake up in her bed with a migraine because I am tired. Maybe I wake up in her bed with a backache because of how I sleep in her bed. But so what? I love my kid and if she "needs" me to sleep, well, at least she needs me. At least she wants me. At least, despite the arguing we do all day and the nagging I have to do to get her to brush her teeth, and the crying she does when I brush her snarled hair; my daughter wants to snuggle with me at the end of the day and say "I love you, mommy."
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