What We Can Learn From Social Distancing

We are in a time where a virus has been attacking humans, COVID-19. Each country and state has different regulations they have applied to their people to adhere to in attempts to stop this virus from killing too many people.

I live in Michigan.

The week of our local University's Spring Break, the students were told not to come back, they would be switching to online classes for a few weeks.

On Thursday, March 12th, I went to a PTO meeting at my daughter's school where I am President of the PTO. Her principal assured us the school was taking precautions to ensure the kids stayed in smaller groups and switching up recess and lunch so the kids could have time to properly clean their hands after coming inside. We were also assured that closure was NOT on the radar.
I go to bed fairly early....8pm actually. My husband gets up for work at 5am and I get up with him to pack his lunch and make him breakfast so he can get out the door by 6am since he drives an hour to work. When I awoke on the morning of March 13th (yup, Friday the 13th), I discovered that as of 11pm the night before all the schools were closing on March 16th not to be re-opened until the 6th of April!
Now, my daughter is enrolled in a balanced calendar program at school, so she had been on break the week this was announced. I frantically called the school to make sure that she didn't have to get her locker decorations out of her locker because we heard they were going to deep clean (she did not unless she needed them). The teacher was actually working that week for the kids who were on intercession (some children go to school anyway those weeks for a fee and go on field trips and do some hands on learning, this time I chose not to send my daughter because as a substitute teacher, I am usually working during this time and she is forced to go at least a couple of the days and have her grandparents watch her the other days and I felt bad about this, so I let her stay home this time). Her teacher was amazing, texting everyone on the Remind app (an app where she can mass text all of us the same message and we can privately respond to her to make for easier communication) and updating us on what was happening.

Fast forward to Monday, March 16th...3rd grade camp was supposed to be this week. My daughter had been looking forward to it and had never had this kind of experience before. My husband was going to chaperone, leaving me alone in the house over night so I was planning to do my written final exam for my Master's program; instead I was supposed to be homeschooling my kid! Many friends of mine on social media are teachers so in addition to the texts I was receiving from my daughter's teacher for resources for online learning, I was seeing so many wonderful ideas posted by them and other friends on the same struggle bus as I was, scurrying to find things for my kid to do to stay educated during this time. I will post more daily stories on other blog posts about this time.

Now fast forward again to today, Monday, March 23rd....I am upset that my child was robbed of 3rd grade camp, spring soccer (this would have been her first time playing soccer), ice skating, friend time, etc. So many seniors are being robbed of proms, spring sports, senior skip day, senior spring break trips, the final yearbook candids, choir concerts and competitions, those last precious few months with their friends before they go their separate ways to go to college or to the armed forces or straight into jobs they have been promised or traveling across the world to find themselves before they "buckle down and become an adult." Things will never be for these kids what they should be, what the norm is for kids their age.

People are hoarding silly things like toilet paper! Think about it, if you were watching a cheesy sci-fi movie, that is something you might hear the announcer say "All chaos ensued as people were hoarding toilet paper, hand sanitizer and meat while the virus slowly ate away at everyone after the governor's warnings to stay inside and quarantine as much as possible."

Another horrible thing that happened during this time of social distancing? My daughter's teacher passed away. Thursday, March 19th, I received a text that someone had heard that she passed. I immediately texted my daughter's principal who called me and confirmed it. She had a heart attack and passed away the night before. I want to blame the virus for this as well. Was she working too hard getting together resources for the students that she loved so much and it just took a toll on her? Was she over stressed and over tired because of all of this going on in addition to her normal daily stress? As we learn more about the virus, I wonder if she had it and did not know it and her body just decided to shut down? I don't know too much of her personal life so I cannot speculate too much but I do know that the year before she had a bad car accident and since she had many doctor appointments and I do know that she did not seem to be in the greatest of health. But I have so much anger inside at this virus. It took my child's childhood, possibly her teacher.

What can we learn from our social distancing?

1. It's true what they say about taking people for granted. Don't do it. One day you wake up and someone that you knew is gone. I didn't know my daughter's teacher well, but the conversations I had with her showed me a couple things....1. she loved her children, 2. she was a foster mom and she loved that child like her own. 3. she worked hard to accomplish great things, she didn't want to stagnate. 4. she loved her students very much. 5. she was always putting her time and money into her students and her job out of love. 6. she loved teaching even though she didn't get paid a lot of money or receive a ton of recognition. 7. she appreciated parents like me, parents who are on the PTO, who volunteer for things, who volunteer their spouses for things, who are there when you need anything. 8. she loved to give her students everything she had, including spending a lot of money on an annual Thanksgiving feast and on an annual Celebration of Holidays around Christmas time (where all students were exposed to various holidays and treats related to them so they could learn about things other than Christmas). I could go on and on with things I learned about her in the short time I knew her...but I will stop here. 
2. Don't take your experiences for granted. So many kids are being robbed of kindergarten experiences, 3rd grade camp, 5th grade camp, proms, spring sports, spring break trips, yearbook experiences, choir concerts and competitions, etc. 
3. Don't take your local businesses for granted. Many of them are the hearts and souls of your community. Shutting them down for a few weeks may mean they shut down forever. This means loss of jobs and loss of money locally. When we shut down all restaurants to dine in, thankfully I saw many people post that they ordered take out from local businesses rather than getting from chains. Maybe your local Applebees will shut down but they will not suffer the same loss as your locally owned and run Max and Emily's or Piscanello's Pizza or Pizza King, or Dog Central or The Barn Door or whatever. 
4. Don't take fresh air for granted. Many people hole themselves up in their houses to just "Netflix and chill," and get jealous of those stay at home moms or retired individuals who get to do that so frequently. But let me tell you, it's not healthy to not go outside. It is so good for your mental health and physical health to go outside and get fresh air and vitamin D. And you don't realize just how much you enjoy it when the ability to do so is taken away from you. 
5. Don't take your day to day life for granted. Simple things like getting a cup of coffee may not be possible if you lose your job, if we all lose our jobs and have to go thru another depression era. 
6. Technology is powerful. Yes, we all use it daily...well I guess there are some who do not, but the majority of us use it for work or school or both and many of us use it for social media. But we need to realize in this time, it is super important to use it to socialize. My daughter is having to have virtual play dates with her friends now and I am having to use it to connect with my friends as well. We are using it to homeschool our kids and to have an outlet to vent our frustrations about what is going on and have another adult to talk to about our kids. 
7. Our kids NEED school. Don't take teachers and schools for granted. Can they learn at home? Yes. Can they learn from us? Absolutely! But teachers have education on HOW to educate them, how to build a curriculum, how to deal with those kids who just don't want to learn. Schools also give us a break from our kids. And for those who can't afford food at home, schools provide us with that. My district alone served close to 700 meals during the first drop off of food for these kids during closures! For the parents that work and can't afford day care, these schools provide a safe environment for them to be free of cost. Can you pull together a curriculum for your kid? I know that I was blessed to have been a long term substitute teacher and have seen curriculum planning and understand but how many of us can say that?
8. We need to have an emergency plan in place. Many of us are losing work, we need to have savings in place, extra money in place just in case. We are all being told to stay home unless we need to go out, do you have enough food at home? Do you have someone who you can count on if you get sick and need help getting that food? Do you have a little extra you can give others? What if your spouse dies? Do you have life insurance to help with the costs and to help support your family? Are you a stay at home mom or dad with no skills, what happens if you lose your spouse? 

There is so much more to be learned here. I just hope we all start realizing how important we are to one another before it is too late. 

Makeup. The Journey: Part 1

I have always liked makeup but as I age, I have become more interested in it.

My husband took a photo of me for a campaign for local government and I saw smile lines (or crow's feet, whichever you prefer to call them) next to my eyes. This just got real!

I have always used whatever was cheap or on sale, not really paying attention to brands but then I fell in love with Clinique's Three Step line. I love their face scrub too. The face lotion just made my face feel like a baby's butt. I don't splurge often but honestly, when I get whatever brand is on sale, I don't feel as good about my skin.

So what is next? Well, I sold Mary Kay for a while and I didn't like their products really. I stopped using anti-aging lotions after I found out more about Retinol. I tried to order Mary Kay after not selling it anymore, but I found that I was just disappointed with the products for some reason or another.

I next tried LipSense. I haven't worn lipstick in probably 10 years, other than a rare occasion, and feel funny in anything that is not nude or almost nude. But, I had a friend who had a LipSense party and I loved her lipstick, so I had one of my own. I ordered a lipstick and an eye shadow. I hate the eye shadow after using it a few times. But I LOVE the lipstick! Figures, I'd love a lipstick that costs me $25 for the color, $20 for the gloss sealer and $10 for the remover in case I want it to come off easily or I make a mistake putting it on! But I have yet to find a lipstick I really like better. Plus there is a guarantee with it that if I don't like it, I can get my money back.

Apparently, one of my other friends sells LipSense now too and she turned me on to their foundation. She says that she uses it and it has changed her skin. She is my age and she says it has made her look younger since using it. So I am going to give it a whirl. I am used to Cover Girl Creamy Natural and when I run out I get whatever is on sale and every time it seems I am disappointed or get the wrong shade. Even if I buy Cover Girl, if I buy another product like the pressed foundation or a different type of foundation (they have so many out there now) and I get the same color as usual, it disappoints. So I use it up because I am frugal when I can be and by the time I use it up, I forget what color was the color I liked and what was not, and which kind of foundation I liked and which I didn't. So, I thought I could give the MakeSense Foundation a try. Here goes nothing....and $50.

My eye lashes are also an issue with me. I find one mascara that I like then I try another because it is on sale and it leaves me unhappy. My favorite so far, I can't even remember the name but I remember the container if I see it, but I can remember I paired it with Loreal Lash Boosting Serum. I tried Mary Kay's Lash Intensity Mascara with the Lash Primer but it really didn't give me the look I wanted. So I go back to the drawing board again. I have another friend who is selling Younique and I have seen her Lash Serum and her Mascara and if it can do that for me, I am game! She was having a secret grab bag where you pay $20 and you get an item shipped to you of her choice. I got the Esteem Lash Serum so hopefully I will love it, it is regular $42. And I just bought some mascara to go with it. Their Epic Mascara regular $24.

So here I go! Join me on my journey to discover if I really am a makeup snob or not!

Why It Is SO Important To Connect With Other Parents

My last two blogs have discussed how to connect with your child when "How was your day" doesn't work. A great thing I have learned in the past couple years is to make friends with parents of other kids at school.

When our daughter started preschool we discovered that there was a kid in her class that had a mom that we knew from the University. It was nice to have that extra connection with her because she knew us a little already and we didn't have the awkward friend-making phase. We also realized that one of the kids from our daughter's dance class was in the same preschool class.  This gave us another connection with someone we kind of already knew. Moving on to kindergarten, both of these girls were also in the same school as our daughter so that was great to be able to have a couple of parent friends already.

I found that when I connected with other parents and children, I increased my chances of knowing my own kid. 
By knowing other kids and parents, I could see what kind of friends my kid had. I also had a social support system in case I needed something or even information about something going on at school. More importantly, I could get to know my kid through these parents. When our daughter started kindergarten, she connected with a child in her class that sat at her table, I started casually talking to her mother as we tended to volunteer at the same things and occasionally pick our kids up at the same time. When the girls ended up in the same first grade class, I connected with her even more. Connecting with her and hearing how great her kid thought my kid was is heartwarming. Watching them together I see that my daughter is not only a "mother hen" type kid but she is also a leader. Knowing and connecting with her teachers, I hear that she is smart and friendly and confident but seeing her with other kids I see that she is more than that and it makes me proud.

Connecting at the school creates social support and networking. 
I joined the PTO this year as well, I finally had more time to be a part of my daughter's school. Connecting with the parents allowed me to have some social support. Meeting other parents that are going through the same things at the same times as I was is very encouraging. I know when I drop my kid off at school after fighting her all morning to get out the door on time that I will see the same parents I see every day that drop their kids off too. When I see these parents, I can let off some steam and ask "what do you do when your kid doesn't want to get ready for school?" Or I can just say "rough morning getting out the door" and I can hear "yeah, I've been there too" and get a friendly smile. These interactions help me cope with the hardships of being a parent and allow me to feel normal when I really just feel inadequate.

Making friends with other parents lets me know who is "in my neighborhood."
When I meet the parents of other kids, I get to know the people "in my neighborhood." Although most parents are going to be on their "best behavior" when they take their kids to school, you start to learn more about who people are the more you see them around. Even though my city has four elementary schools, one charter school, one high school, one parochial school, two alternative schools, one Montessori school, about a dozen preschools and two middle schools as well as a University and a Community College with a population of around 27,000 not including the college students that do not live here all year long so are not technically counted as our population; I feel like I know a lot of people and it is nice when we have community events and I see parents and kids that I know.

Knowing kids and parents at school allows them to know my family. 
It is a nice thing when you can go to a local grocery store and hear "Hi (insert your child's name here) mom." When I go somewhere and I hear a child call my name or call me the "mom" of someone they know, I feel like I have connected with them in some way. Connecting with kids and parents at my child's school allows them to know me as well as my family better.  In knowing who we are, hopefully they will see us as a "nice family," and feel safe having my child around and/or coming to my home and having their children around us. I find it very valuable to have connections with other families in my community for so many reasons.

When I ran for a political position for my county, it was great to have the support from others that we knew. Although I didn't win, some of the support I received was from people who knew me and respected me. A preschool teacher of my daughter's said that she was going to vote for me and that it was really brave of me to run for political office. I would like to get more involved in the community and when people recognize a face or a name, they are more likely to support your cause.

Why It Is Important To Make A Connection With Your Child's Teacher

If your kid is anything like mine, there are days they just won't communicate with you about how their day was at school. Sometimes it is like pulling teeth (see my previous blog). After researching things online, I came up with some pretty good solutions to help ease my mind about the non-communication going on with my 6 year old. The first one is:

Get to know the teachers and staff. 
I found that even if I can't get answers from her, if I know her teachers I have a way of knowing if her school life is good or not. 

I know what you are going to say, "But I work full time and so does my spouse, how am I going to do that? I have barely any time for myself and you want me to meet teachers and get to know them?"

But just listen, I worked full time when my daughter started preschool and my husband worked as well, sometimes it was full time and sometimes it was part time. We made it work and here's why:

• Making those connections allows you to feel safe about your choices for schools, caregivers, whatever. These people are the ones who will safely lead your child out of the building if it catches fire, take a bullet for your kid if there is a gunman in the school, teach them the facts of life, teach them to be a good citizen. These teachers and administrators serve as role models for our children and don't you want to know who they look up to?
• If something ever comes up and you know people, you have more resources out there. People are more likely to help you search for resources when they know you. Even those in the helping professions who are obligated to help may give more effort when they have a personal connection with those who are in need. 
• Being able to openly communicate about your child to another adult who sees them in a different way is useful. Maybe you see your child as a "problem child" but at school they see them as a "star student," it really allows you to see both sides and know that maybe there isn't a problem with your kid, maybe you just need to find a different way to get things accomplished with them. 
• If your kid isn't talking to you about things and a problem does come up, it's good to have another responsible adult that both they and you feel comfortable with and who you know will tell you if it is something important. 

When she started preschool the December after she turned four because of my getting a full time job, we not only took a tour but we met the teachers in her classroom and the director of the preschool. Although I wasn't the parent dropping her off most of the time, I was the parent picking her up and when I did, I made a point to spend a minute or two chatting with her teachers. This formed a connection where I could feel that they were safe and that my kid was safe. I felt that if anything came up they would tell me. Now that my daughter is in first grade, I still talk to one of her teachers on Facebook sometimes and when I see either teacher out in town somewhere I am happily greeted.

When she began kindergarten, my husband and I hand selected her teacher. We went to kindergarten round up unsure as to if we were going to stay in our district or choice out to another one in the city. We chose to stay there based on the local test scores all being similar and the teachers who spoke at round up night. Not that there is some "head teacher" or anything but you know how when you are at events at the school and there is always "that one teacher" that speaks up and gets the mic first? Well, this was the one. The teacher that was speaking the most of all the kindergarten teachers was who we chose. She seemed young, but not too young, bright, funny, and she even looked like someone our kid could relate to and look up to (she had dark hair and eyes and was short so we thought if our kid saw someone who looked a bit like her she might look up to her...and this actually worked she came home from school the first week wanting to be a teacher).

The moment I knew this had been a right choice was on the first day of school. My husband and I both worked at the time but we were able to clear our schedules that day to drop her off. We went into the classroom and her teacher was very friendly. But the minute I knew it was right was when we were just chatting and she said to me that this was the first year her oldest daughter was going to a different school, that ever since her child was in school she had always been right down the hall and now she realized for the very first time what "us parents" must feel like on the first day of school "giving our child up" to "someone else" all day. I had not cried the first day of school, I was excited to see my kiddo dressed in her brand new clothes with her brand new backpack. I was happy to see her locker and walk into her new classroom and see her teacher and principal all dressed up with smiles on their faces and mugs of coffee in their hands. But in that moment, I started to tear up. I quickly smiled at her and hugged my kiddo, gave her a kiss on the cheek, said goodbye and told her that we would be there to pick her up from school too then walked out of the room with my husband and started to cry a little.

Taking the time out to meet her teacher and make that connection opened the door to communication between us. I found that even if I couldn't get an answer from my daughter about how her day was her teacher was always able to tell me if there was something wrong or something that needed my immediate attention.

I was able to also take a day off of work to volunteer in her classroom and make it to a field trip. Now I know that most parents work and many parents have a hard time getting days off, but if you can, do it. Take a sick day, call in and say you have the sniffles and chaperone the zoo trip, it will be worth it, I promise. My being able to volunteer for a couple little things even though I was working made my daughter feel that I really cared about her school and showed the teacher that I did too.

The next thing I did to connect was to ask for help. I asked her kindergarten teacher if she could recommend a teacher for the next year. I did this for a couple of reasons, first, because I cared about my daughter's education and wanted to choose the right teacher for her that could challenge her. Second, I wanted her teacher to know that I cared. Third, I cared what her teacher thought, her teacher was great and she is the one who knows my kid the best in the educational setting. The teachers spend most of the day with our kids, they know how they think, learn and play. They also spend time with the other teachers in conferences and meetings and know who possesses what skills and what kind of kids might work best with those teachers. So who better to suggest someone for my kid?

I also chose to join the PTO this year. I was planning on it last year when my kid was in kindergarten but decided not to because of the time of the meetings and my work schedule. I do understand that many parents don't have time for this, but many schools offer a day care program for parents attending the meetings or at least don't mind the kids sitting in on the meetings. I know it is hard after a long day at work to sit in another meeting for an hour with people you barely know talking about stuff that you may or may not care about. But I think it was a good choice for me to join. I really do love my child's school and I like being involved in the events they hold. It also connects me to other parents and the principal and staff of the school. This again opens lines of communication through connections and shows that I care about being involved.

Again, I understand that many parents are too busy. My husband works full time an hour away, teaches online classes at the local community college and is trying to complete his PhD. I was working full time when my daughter was in kindergarten and for part of her first grade education. But I think that it is extremely important to have these connections with the school and to make them as solid as possible.

Maybe my kiddo won't tell me how her day was. Maybe all she wants to do when she gets home is play by herself in her room rather than help me make dinner. But I know that by connecting with teachers and staff at her school I can bridge the gap between my daughter and I and even if she doesn't want to talk to me, someone will if they sense that something is wrong.

Asking "How Was Your Day?" Is Like Pulling Teeth

If you have a kiddo anything like mine, she loves school but won't tell you about it.

I try very hard daily to ask "How was your day?" Because I think it is important to talk about how our days are, and I think it is important to connect at the end of the day. When I pick my daughter up from the bus stop she usually hugs me and then I put my arm around her and ask "How was your day?" The response I usually get is her hiding in her coat shrugging at me. Sometimes I get the glare and a sarcastic "Mooommm."

So I have been thinking about better ways to handle this question and actually get an answer, actually connect with my kid so that when she is 15 she will want to talk to me about school. I mean, I really want to know what has been going on in her life.

I don't see her all day and I don't know her friends. I know she acts great to her teachers and I hear wonderful things about her. When I drop her off at school I have kids coming up to me saying "Hi Sophie's mom." Heck, I was shopping at our local Meijer and I had a kid say that to me, a kid that I didn't even recognize! So I know she has friends, but I want to hear about them.

Last year, in kindergarten, she would actually talk to me for most of the school year, but near the end it got harder and harder to get an answer to the simple question "How was your day?" Thankfully, her teacher was very good with Facebook and kept up the classroom page. My daughter was also great about telling my husband and I about what she had learned because she was excited about it.

I figured out if I ask "How was your day?" I get the shrug or the sass. Similar to that is "What did you learn today?" Of course, I got the "nothing new," answer. I know my kid is smart, but seriously, nothing, and every single day? I had to get a bit smarter about this so I decided to try to make her laugh to at least connect if she wasn't going to talk. I would ask "Did you learn about dinosaurs today?" I would get the snappy "No," out of her. I would then say "You mean you didn't learn about purple dinosaurs wearing birthday hats?" There was a smile and a much nicer "No." So I would keep on taking it further and further, "Did you learn about pink hippos today?" and so on. Eventually she would blurt out something she actually did learn about, not much conversation but at least she said something and we connected through a laugh. This tactic doesn't work anymore now that she is in first grade though, I still get the sass and the sarcasm. Time to try something else.

I decided to look up things to ask. I looked at a great article online by Pop Sugar. Link is below.

The suggestion basically is to ask something else. Not "How was your day?" but something else, like "What did you do at recess?" "What was one fact you learned today?"

I tried these. I got pretty much the same kinds of answers as before. But oddly enough, when my husband would ask the same questions at the dinner table she would open up to him. I really wanted this connection with my daughter, so it was back to the drawing board.

I can't very well ask her what she ate for lunch because I pack it, and when she gets home, I unpack the lunch box and see what she didn't bother to eat. The closest to conversation about lunch I get is my irritation seeing a barely touched lunch and asking her "Why didn't you eat your lunch today?" as she is grabbing a snack because she is apparently starving and can't wait a half hour until my husband gets home and dinner is on the table.

Next I tried asking funny questions about school again. I asked her "Did anyone pick their nose today?" I still didn't get much of an answer but at least I got a laugh. Once again I tried the old "What did you learn today?" The answer I got was that everyone but her was on the wrong page in their agendas (they get planners to take home that we have to sign every day with notes and messages and things)...and (sigh) I know this is wrong because I knew she was on the wrong page.

So, a new day and I start off with the same "How was your day?" I get a bit more of an answer today but still not what I am looking for, so I go back to the "Did anyone pick their nose today?" I get a "No." Hmmm...not what I want either...so I ask "If you could be the teacher tomorrow what would you teach your class?" The answer? "Reflex Math and Raz Kids" (which are both computer programs the kids use for math and other learning. So I ask "What else though, you can't possibly have the kids on the computer all day." So then I get a bit more out of kiddo, "I would have them make their own pencil boxes and put their names on them."

I guess these question suggestions really do work a bit to help instead of the old "How was your day?" Below is the link to the article I got the questions from, I changed them a bit as you can see, but not much.

https://www.popsugar.com/moms/Questions-Ask-Your-Kid-About-Day-38356377

I have also learned along the way that when kiddo wants to talk, I need to be there to listen, otherwise I may miss my chance. If she wants to talk at dinner, she wants to talk then but after she wants to go play alone in her room. If I don't let her talk to me at dinner, I miss my opportunity.

Shopping With Kids

I know I only have one kid, and she is honestly a good kid, but when I take her shopping, she becomes a different person...a strange being that defies my every request and thinks it funny to run over my feet with a cart.

When I shop by myself, shopping isn't stress but when I have to take my kiddo, it kind of is. Many times I go to the stores that have those "fun" car carts just to keep her in check. I use quotation marks around the word "fun" because I don't honestly believe they are fun. Oh, my kid loves them alright, and it keeps her from trying to push the cart, which usually would end up with either my feet run over or her riding on it preventing me from pushing it properly. It also prevents her from riding in the basket of the cart where I cannot put enough groceries, and where I have to force her to sit down never mind if she is wearing a skirt and I cannot get her to close her legs so the whole world doesn't see her Disney princess underwear. But me, I don't love them. And what mom does?

The carts stick out like a sore thumb in the cart area of every store that owns them so there is no getting out of them by saying "Oh honey, they don't have one left today." After I pull one out far enough to get my kid into it, I still have to maneuver it out of the tight spot they keep them in while fending off hitting people with it or with my butt while backing up. Finally she squeezes into it (because she is getting a little big for them) and we are off.

I bump into everything with the corner of this darn cart, because it's not like driving a real car where you can see where your front end will hit. The kid just laughs hysterically at that, of course. I also dodge hitting other people while moms give me they sympathetic half grin knowing my pain, elderly women smile while talking to my daughter thinking it is adorable, men smile and smirk thinking I am just a fun mom. I can never figure out how to handle these stupid carts, I just smash into everything trying to quickly get my groceries and get out so I don't knock down anything I might have to pay for.
I then realize that the cart isn't actually big enough to hold all of my groceries as my child giggles and smirks and looks back at me through the "rear view window" of "her car."

As I get to the checkout forgetting half of what I needed to purchase due to the overwhelming stress of trying to maneuver this "car" and keep my kid happy so I can get through this ordeal unscathed, the kid decides she doesn't want to be in the "car" anymore. So, although we are now in the checkout lane, and she is basically blocked in, which is the equivalent of having your vehicle sandwiched in between two other vehicles parked both over the lines in a parking lot; she still wants out and attempts to get out, screaming because she is stuck (even though at six years old she knows better). People start to stare, the cashier looks at me disapprovingly as I try to convince her to stay in there long enough for me to maneuver the cart to the spot where the register next to us is so she has an opening to get out.

After I have paid for my groceries (my incomplete groceries), my kiddo "helps" me push the cart out to the vehicle where she puts her legs up on the bottom of it to ride on it and almost tips the whole thing over because it is so front heavy, especially without her in it.

I just have to wonder who made these carts and why they would possibly think that these things are an amazing creation.

Stay At Home Mom

I lost my job right before Christmas. It wasn't my dream job, but it wasn't a bad job. I was working as an office manager/customer service rep for an insurance company. When I chose to take this job I knew it wasn't what I really wanted, I knew it wasn't what my degree was in or even a field I was interested in. But I had to apply for full time work because I was on unemployment. I knew it was a job that I wouldn't mind and one that I could do because I love office work and I was good at it.
I got let go when my daughter's school had two snow days in the same week. The first day, I tried to bring her in to work with me and she misbehaved so as soon as my boss got there, I had to leave and take her home. The second time, I tried to find a sitter and couldn't so I told my boss I couldn't come in. Why didn't I just have a sitter? Well, because my husband and I are picky about sitters. Both of us have been through a lot of judgement over this so I am just going to state my case and stand my ground, if you have something snotty to say, keep it to yourself please because this is the way we run our household.

So we decided long ago that if we had a sitter, we would interview the sitter together and introduce them to our daughter to see if they were a fit. The only sitters that we feel that we do not need to interview are the college women that run the after school programs that our daughter attends when we are both working full time. Because of this decision it is hard to find a sitter living so far away from my family and not having a lot of friends close by either that are able to sit for us.

On the particular day that I contacted my boss that I could not come in, I had been reaching out and trying to find someone since the night before because we almost knew school would be cancelled. The evening before, my boss left work to pick up his kids and take them home. When he did so, he emailed me telling me I could leave a bit early due to poor roads and I informed him I would be looking for childcare immediately for the next day. That night I texted him telling him I would be looking for a sitter as we got the phone calls that school was cancelled. He simply said "ok" never telling me that if I didn't I might lose my job or saying that I could bring her in again if I had to. I was under the impression that I had it handled and if I needed the day off it would not be a problem (seeing as I was supposed to get sick time and vacation time anyway) so when my husband said he could call in but he didn't really want to use all of his time off, I said I had it handled. I could not find a sitter and so I texted him in the morning that I would not be in and did not hear from him at all. The next day, I came in to work and we had a conversation about how I wasn't a good fit and how he knew that I didn't care about insurance anyway and he needed someone who did, someone who wouldn't quit on him in the busy season when they found a great job, someone who would be there for him.

The problem I guess I have with this is that I told him from the beginning that I had a child. I told him from the beginning that I sometimes needed to call in. He told me that I would have sick time and vacation time, not much for the first 90 days but I could have days off if I needed it. I also never was informed that if I called in I would use my job, if I didn't try to come in I would lose my job, if I didn't try to bring my kid in I would lose my job.

We, as a family are trying to make the best of this situation. I have been without work for about a month now. I have been able to clean more and try to get rid of the "junk" we have sitting around the house. I have been able to get a gym membership and workout regularly to improve my health. I am looking for work but I am looking for either my dream job, something that pays exceptionally well, something part-time locally with flexibility or something work from home. I thought I would try my hand at improving my blog, and may get into video but I am unsure of myself. What I have been lucky enough to do though is to sell things on garage sale sites on Facebook and make a little extra cash so I don't feel bad about buying those new boots.....